John 1:4:16-18 says, "God is love and perfect love drives out fear."
This tells that "Anger Management" courses do not understand that the opposite of love is not anger, but fear.
We register fear in our gut. We have butterflies. We start to breath more quickly. We get louder. Our body says we are under attack and so it sends adrenalin to the mind and steroids to the body. We are more alert. We are stronger. There is a whole change in our spirit/soul/body. Think of the Hulk.
Listening to our body mind going on alert, we are moving out of alignment from love and moving into a fight or flight mode.
The second thing we learn in fear management is that fear is more than a feeling but a demon with its own existence. Love as God also has its own existence and is stronger than fear. In the first 8 chapters of Peter's Gospel told to Mark, Jesus does not preach but drives out fear demons.
If we ignore fear, fear does not ignore us, but gets bigger. Couples starting off have fear as a cute monkey. Over time as fear (thinking it anger or hate) we ignore it and it gets bigger: a 700 pound gorilla. After a while that demon fear becomes the intercessor for the person he owns and takes all incoming calls and gives his own spin to the person he possesses. In Mark a fear demon identifies Jesus to his synagogue as a Destroyer.
In fear management we teach a couple to lower your voice, step back from each other, and turn sideways and ask "Here is what I am afraid of now. What are you afraid of?"
Suddenly the couple are fighting together at their fear demons and not each other. They hate the fear, but love the one's in fear's grasp.
They are no longer afraid of anger or hate, but have outed anger and hate as fear which can only flourish in darkness. All arguments lead in this manner to closer intimacy with God and each other.
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